In his book, former FBI agent and hostage negotiator Chris Voss debunks many myths about what helps negotiate success. But his book is not only for those who are professionally involved in negotiations. Its ideas are useful for everyone to know – after all, as the author rightly notes, our whole life is a negotiation.
What will help you negotiate successfully? Let’s talk about a few ideas from the book.
The best negotiators understand that the task of negotiations is not to win the battle of arguments, but to collect as much information as possible about the opponent
The author advises to direct all your attention to the other person and actively listen to him. By doing this, you will create a sense of security for the other side, and understand its true needs.
It doesn’t matter that you say very correct things, as long as you say it in a way that offends the other side. It is a serious mistake to be in a hurry. People feel well that the other side is in a hurry. This tells them that they are not being heard. By being in a hurry, you lose the trust that is so difficult to gain.
Our brain is able not only to understand the words and actions of other people, but their feelings and intentions and their meaning. When a person radiates warmth, approval, and acceptance, it contributes to successful negotiations. To respond with sympathy for sympathy is a natural reflex of a person, and understanding this in many ways becomes the key to successful negotiations. This is why one of the most powerful negotiating tools is your voice.
The author identifies three types of voice suitable for negotiations:
Contrary to popular belief, the author advises rarely using a persistent, self-confident tone, since demonstrating your dominance does not help to achieve success. It’s much more likely that you will succeed with a positive tone.
Use the technique of labeling feelings in negotiations
Labeling or labeling feelings is a way of testing someone’s emotions through recognition. This is when you name someone’s perceived emotion to show that you understand how the other side is feeling by saying, “It seems like you …”, “It sounds like you …”, “It looks like …”.
This technique is especially effective in stressful situations. By extracting and naming the negative emotions of the other side, you help her reduce her fear level.
Identify the other person’s feelings to reduce tension in the conversation
Good negotiators use labeling to dispel, defuse deeper negative emotions and reinforce positive ones. Labeling is effective against anger – an emotion that, although it gives a feeling of confidence, but which at the same time rarely helps to act correctly.
Research shows that the best way to deal with negativity is to observe it without reacting or judging. Then, consciously label each negative feeling and replace it with a positive one, show empathy, and only then offer a reasonable solution.
Do not try to get the other side to agree at any cost. Success in negotiations is often defined as “no”
Many sales techniques are designed to get the customer to “yes” at all costs. Remember when they called you with some kind of proposal, trying to impose an unnecessary product and not letting you insert a word. This method forces the buyer to resist and defend. The seller tries in every possible way to prevent the buyer from saying “no”. But even if he gets you “yes”, it will not mean that you buy from him. Most likely, if you agree, then only so that he gets rid of you.
“No” = best answer!
In fact, as the author explains, “no” is of much greater value to negotiation than a hastily obtained formal agreement. “No” is the gateway to deeper agreement. This is what gives the parties time to regulate and renegotiate the terms in order to reach the best possible solution.
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